So we have to start with where things ended. From the edit, it seemed like you didn’t know that your name was being thrown out. How surprised were you by the results when they came in?I didn’t know. But I had a gut feeling. I felt something off in my gut walking into Tribal Council, and I was kind of ignoring it. Because I was just like, “I’m going to trust in this women’s alliance. I’m going to trust in Sami. I don’t want to be a paranoid player. I’m going to believe that the plan that I set in place is going to work.” Once Tribal Council hit, there was a shift in everyone’s mood that I kind of felt. And so by the time Jeff said, “I’m gonna go grab the votes,” I kind of already knew that it was me and was already preparing for what I was going to say in my closing remarks. (Laughs.)So when you talk about feeling something off in your gut, was there a particular interaction or remark that you look back on that should have sent up more red flags?Yeah, I definitely think my spiel about being the type of tribe that “still won,” even though we lost the challenge, really was something that stuck out to me. I think that that was the moment where this shift happened, where I definitely started to feel like it was going to be me. I just wanted to really drive on this road of positivity and try to keep the tribe uplifted. But I think everyone was at a place where they wanted to be more strategic, and they wanted to have a more cutthroat game, and I wasn’t at that place yet. I still wanted that tribe unity. And I think that as a tribe, I was just going in a different direction in terms of mindset. Let’s talk about that unity. There were a lot of talks in this episode about how “kumbaya” Baka was, not even doing a lot of strategizing until after you lost the challenge. Was that communal feeling something you were trying to create actively, or did it happen to come with the people you were playing with?I think it was a little bit of both. I think that wherever I go, I tend to try to push that unity. But I think we just had awesome chemistry. I truly feel like I was on the right tribe. I was with the right people. It just wasn’t in the cards for me. But we all got along. We were like a genuine true family. At least from my perspective, it definitely felt that way. We all loved each other. We weren’t bumping heads; we worked well together. And I think that it just happened that we lost and moves had to start being made. And I was just the first one to get the boot. I think that’s just how it played out. We saw in the episode that you were targeted for being perceived as the weakest member of the tribe. Was that something you were aware of before watching the premiere?That was definitely new information to me. I didn’t necessarily know that I was portrayed as the weakest. But it didn’t bother me. I think things that tend to bother me are things that I know to be true. And I didn’t see myself as the weakest. And I also didn’t see anybody else in my tribe as the weakest. I think that we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. And it just depends on what the challenge is. Because brute strength might work for one challenge. But then, in another challenge, you might need brains. And in another challenge, you might need stamina, or you might need endurance, or you might need flexibility, or you might need to be agile. How do we even define what the heck strength is? So for me to be targeted or perceived as the weakest player didn’t bother me; that’s just their perception. And for them, it might be true. And if it is true to them, it doesn’t hurt my feelings at all. I think that everybody in my tribe made the decision that was best for them and for their game. So I’m proud of them for making the move they felt would get them further. That’s what you do on Survivor, make the moves that are going to get you farther in the game. And I think that’s what everyone did, or at least thought that they did.Let’s talk through some of your relationships. You joined up with Elie and Jeanine early on, from what we see, spurred on by Elie sharing the story of losing her sister. Was that moment truly the thing that brought you together, or were you planning on aligning before that?It was the first moment we broke away from the boys. We all went on a walk on the beach, and we’re hunting for crabs. It was just like, “Boom, girl power.” I knew that my downfall in the game was going to be playing with my heart. Because I do that in life all the time. I play with my heart; I don’t listen to my gut. But for the world to see, a season where a woman’s alliance sticks together is not only something that will be cool as hell; it’s something that is needed. That’s something that the world needs to see. So I think that player Morriah and real person Morriah really, really wanted to work with the women because it’s something that I wanted to bring home and be able to show the world, to show my students, to show my family, this is something we can do. But I wanted two people to look up and say, “Yes, the girls stick together.” I just thought that it would be such a beautiful thing to see. And so the moment we all got together, it was just a no-brainer to come together as women. And I think that once Elie shared that story, and we started to get to know each other a little bit more, it just increased our bond. At first, I thought, “This is a great gameplay move. And this is something that will be inspiring to the world.” I think that that was the initial punch. And I think the second punch was, “Wow, you really are an extraordinary human being. I love you. Let’s really do this.“We also saw you have a relationship with Sami. Did that form as instantaneous as you with the women?It wasn’t as instantaneous. My first impression of Sami was I thought he was going to be the most serious person in our tribe. I also didn’t know that he was a child. (Laughs.) I was afraid that I was going to be the person in my tribe that drove everyone insane. Because I’m so freaking bubbly and energetic, and everyone’s going to be like, “Oh, my God, calm it down.” But there were moments when Sami was more hyper than me! Sami was just really energetic, really fun, really down to earth. And those are the people that I vibe with in real life. He had a lot of the same characteristics and energy that I bring to the table. And so it made me feel like that was just like an authentic connection. I was like, “Wow, this is somebody who I would really hang out with him in real life. Let’s work together”. And so I think that that’s how that bond began to work. And I think that his strength made him all the more reason why I wanted to work with him. He’s really cool, plus he’s throwing people up this human wall. Let’s work together.Sami throws out Owen’s name, which you end up going with. Did you have a reason to go after Owen, or was it just going along with whatever name got floated your way?I think I had a connection with Owen, but I wouldn’t quite say it was a relationship. I talked with Owen the least. And not because of anything in particular. I think it just was the way that it panned out. Owen would be on water runs, and I would be on the beach laying out clothes. And so I just think, for some reason, I didn’t have as many opportunities to talk to Owen as I did with Sami, Elie, and Jeanine. Our beach schedules just didn’t cross paths too often. (Laughs.) For me, Owen was the most logical choice and the best choice for my game. I was not going to break up that women’s alliance. I was planning on working with them. I had that awesome connection with Sami, so I was like, “This is the four.” But then Gabler went on that trip and got an immunity idol. And I was like, “There is no way in helicopter.com that I’m getting ready to write his name down when he has an idol. I don’t care if he says he’s not going to play it. It doesn’t make sense. He’s going to play it.” And if he does, all the votes we throw towards him are done, and whoever he votes for is going home. So if I’m working with the girls and Sami, and Gabler has an idol, the only person left that’s logical for my game is Owen. And so it wasn’t anything personal; I wouldn’t even say that there was a specific reason. It was just the default vote for me that made the most sense.Staying on that Gabler note, what was your reaction to him during your three days together, especially when it comes to moments as you mentioned of him announcing he would be playing his Shot in the Dark?I love Gabler; I love all my tribe mates. My initial feeling of Gabler was, “This is such a sweet dude.” And then when we got back from that Immunity Challenge where he started talking, I’m like, “Gabler is a wild card. We gotta get Gabler out of here, because I don’t know what he is talking about.” He has an idol and said he’s playing his Shot in the Dark. You’ve got to go! So it went from Gabler being really sweet and possibly predictable to"I don’t even know if he knows what he was doing.” If I were at home on the couch, I would have been having a conversation with him while he was on the screen. But I’m in the game; I can’t say that. But I just did not believe that he wasn’t going to play it because it just didn’t make sense to me.Speaking of advantages, we didn’t see anybody on Baka look for idols out in the jungle. Was that just something that didn’t make that edit?Yeah, me, Elie, and Jeanine all went on idol hunt together as women. So the guys stayed back at camp, and they were trying to build the shelter. And so, me, Elie, and Jeanine were like, “We’re going to go grab more bamboo for you guys. You keep building the shelter.” Then we went on a full-on idol hunt. And then we would take breaks and actually bring bamboo back. So that definitely didn’t make the edit. But we did look! l was flipping over rocks; I was digging in the dirt. I was looking behind trees and stuff. And it was really, really difficult. It’s such a big island and such a vast area to search for; it feels very overwhelming. Then it gets to the point where you’re walking past trees, and you’re like, “Did I look in this tree? I’m seeing holes in the ground. Did I already dig here?” You’re just wondering where you even begin. And it’s such a vast area. Where have you already searched? So it’s more difficult than you think sitting at home.In the preseason, you told me you wanted to play as a tribute to your late mother, checking the last item off her bucket list. Though it was only a short time on the show, were you able to find the closure you sought in coming to Fiji?Absolutely. That was one of the things I wished would have aired a little bit more was my reason for playing. Because it’s so important to get in the game. And I love this show. I’ve been watching it since I was a kid. I have always wanted to play. But I think that my reason for playing was so much more important than what I got a chance to express to the rest of the world. I’m doing this to commemorate my mom and to really honor her. And this is the last thing I want to be able to do in her name to bring it full circle and feel like I can move forward in my life and let go of this grief. And I do feel like I was able to find a sense of closure. The moment I got off the boat and touched the sand, it was like, “Okay, I’m here. I did it.” Oh, I’m getting ready to tear up. But I did it. I stepped on the sand. That’s what I came here to do. And I did it. And it doesn’t matter that I went out first. My goal was to play Survivor, and I played. I played for her. And so I did find a sense of closure, and I do feel like I was able to commemorate her and honor her.Next, read our Survivor 43 preseason interview with host and executive producer Jeff Probst.
