She got the idea to write a children’s book when she had her first child, son Jack, who is now two years old (she welcomed her second child, daughter Charlotte, in September 2020). “After having Jack, or maybe when I was pregnant, you’re getting all these kids’ books and reading them. I wanted to be able to create something that would be for Jack to be able to read,” she says. And when the book came out earlier this month, the timing was right. “I think it’s extra pertinent with so much that’s going on right now, so many polarizing conversations. So, this book’s about accepting and choosing your own kind of family, but also knowing that other ones are going to be different. And, hopefully, that extends to other parts of their little sponge brains and life.” In between having her second child and releasing the book, Starsiak Hawk went through another big life change; she underwent plastic surgery to repair some of the damage caused by her two C-sections. “I felt like, this isn’t my body anymore. I’m not physically as strong as I want to be, because physically with my abdominal muscles…you could put a fist between them," she recalls. She underwent a tummy tuck, liposuction and breast implants. Deciding to have the plastic surgery wasn’t one she made lightly, especially since she had developed diastasis recti, which means her ab muscles had separated, so much so–4-1/2 inches–that surgery was required to repair them. “There are so many ways you can go about trying to get back to how you feel like yourself, and for me, the best and the right path was with surgery,” she says. “I think as women, we feel like if we have to struggle for it, then we’re allowed to have it,” says Starsiak Hawk. “Like, it can’t just be easy. Not that surgery was easy, but it gets perceived as the easy way out. I don’t know why exactly. So, there’s been a little bit of negativity, but mostly positive comments.” Keep reading for a glimpse into Starsiak Hawk’s life these days.
What about your own family inspired you to write this story?
My parents, my dad and mom, have each been married four times. So, we have lots of yours, mine and ours. I have step-siblings. I have half-siblings. We actually had custody of my younger sister’s daughter for eight years. So, she’s like my daughter. I have aunts and uncles that aren’t really aunts and uncles. They’re just people so close to the family that we’ve always called them that. And Jack and Charlie have the same thing. So, it’s just very hodgepodge. I have friends that have come on family vacations with us for years, so they’re pretty much part of the family.
How did the idea to make the Built Together extended family so diverse come about?
When first reviewing the illustrations, as an adult, I was like, “Are we being too stereotypical and in your face? Like, ‘This is an Indian family wearing traditional Indian garb,’” but then thinking it through, for 2-year-old to 8-year-old brains, you need that audience to be, “This is a different culture. They’re a different color,” so it made sense. But, as an adult, it just seems a little in your face to me.
My favorite part with the illustrations is that there so many dogs depicted. How many dogs do you have in your family?
Three of them are mine. The big white one is Frank, the little gray pitbull is Sophie and the brown one that you see is Beatrice. She was a very old girl and is no longer with us since the book was in its infancy. But then there’s a couple of others in there. There’s a big labradoodle that my sister has. His name is Ted. There’s a Dachshund in there, but we don’t have a dachshund.
It’s been two months since your surgeries, and you’re already back at work! How are you feeling?
At six weeks, I had one little spot in my abs that kept pulling and hurting. I’m pretty sure I did that to myself because Jack has zero respect for the fact that mom just had surgery and he can’t jump on her. And, once that passed, I felt really good. With my C-sections as well, I was a fast healer, faster than most. I have pretty high pain tolerance, so I think it’s a little early. I think it’s more normal to be feeling better around like three months, but, yeah, I feel good. There’s all kinds of physical therapy for abdominal muscles when they separate and they do it for various reasons. It’s not just pregnancy. But PT can only do so much. With the separation that I had, it wasn’t ever going to come back together. I’m still strong. My legs are strong, my arms are strong, but my core, which so much stems from, was loosey-goosey. I didn’t have the strength that I used to. And now, I’m eight weeks out, it feels different. I can actually flex my abs and they do something. So, if they engage, they’re there, they’re doing something. Whereas before, they just didn’t engage, they were just kind of sitting on the sides of my body.
We discussed the backlash you’re getting because a lot of people think plastic surgery is not essential, but what about the positive reactions?
Overwhelmingly, it’s been super supportive with a lot of people actually saying, “Thank you so much. I did XYZ surgery years ago and I never shared because I thought people were going to judge me,” or “I knew people were going to judge me.” Or, “I’ve always wanted to do this. Thank you for making it not so taboo.”
Good Bones Season 6 is coming up this spring! Did you film it prior to the surgery?
We film for 10 months for a season. So, we’re actually still filming six and we wrap up in March. It’ll air mid this year, maybe May or June. So, we’ve been filming for quite some time and when we went down for Christmas break, that’s when I scheduled it for, so it was on December 4th. I was back up actually, not filming on-camera, but doing property checks with my drainage bags still attached. I think I had a drainage bag still for one of our on-camera reveals and I just wore a big sweater. If I wanted three months down, they would have given it to me. I just can’t sit still that long. I couldn’t after the kids either.
What we can expect to see when the new season of Good Bones premieres?
There’s the last of the big, crazy renovations with weird things happening. Mom [Karen E. Laine] is semi-retired from the company now, but she’s still doing gardening and projects and finding the stuff in the house. But the business-y stuff like the floor plan meetings and design meetings, I’m doing with the rest of the team. So, that’s a little bit different. You don’t get to see Charlie anywhere. She’s still too young. Actually, there are a couple of projects that we are still working on, so she might be in some of that, but there’s some cute stuff with Jack as always.
Do you have a favorite project from this upcoming season?
I do have a favorite. This season we have a new construction home. We don’t do a lot of new constructions because demo is such a big part of our show, but we can do about one or two a season. And the one we did this season is just really, really cool. It has lots of cool, pricey, fancy details, no flooring on the ceiling, and a beautiful handrail and a catwalk. It’s just a really cool house, so that’s my favorite this season. Love home improvement shows? Get the scoop on the Fixer Upper reboot.
